I Lost The Milk: A Lesson In Mental Performance

I forgot the milk.

I went to the grocery store earlier this week and forgot the milk.

Why?

Because I didn’t bring my grocery list.

I often tell young athletes: If I don’t bring a list, I forget something—guaranteed.

So, what does this have to do with mental performance coaching?

A lot.

Because athletes forget too. They forget the strategies we talk about in our sessions—especially in the middle of a game—unless they bring their own version of a “grocery list.”

I often suggest athletes write a word or phrase somewhere they’ll see it during competition. A reminder to refocus. To get back to What’s Important Now — WIN.

They might write it:

On their wrist tape.

On their glove or hand.

Under the bill of their hat.

I’ve seen athletes write things like:

“Team first.”

“Do you.”

“Make an impact.”

These simple cues remind them how to reset after a mistake or distraction.

Just like a grocery list helps me remember the milk, a visual refocus cue helps an athlete remember who they want to be when adversity hits.

Dr. Robert Nideffer, a psychologist, identified two key dimensions of attentional focus: width and direction.

Width refers to how broad or narrow their focus is—like scanning the field (broad) or locking in on a target (narrow).

Direction refers to whether their focus is internal (thoughts, emotions, body) or external (ball, opponent, coach).

After mistakes, athletes often go internal:

What did I do wrong?

What’s wrong with me?

Is Coach going to take me out?

That’s not unusual.

What is problematic is staying there too long.

Because then — what happens?

They make another mistake.

And maybe another after that.

The key is learning how to shift from internal to external focus quickly.

But here’s the challenge: that shift is really hard in the moment — especially when the mistake feels big.

That’s where the grocery list comes in.

A visual reminder helps them interrupt that internal spiral and refocus on what’s next.

Will it work every time?

Nope. Even with a list, sometimes they’ll still forget the milk. And that’s okay. They’re human — just like me.

But with practice, bringing that mental grocery list to the game becomes second nature. 

And focusing on WIN becomes a habit.

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