I am a Certified Mental Performance Consultant® with a Master’s Degree in Sport Psychology. My mission is to help athletes ages 14 to 22 be themselves when everyone is watching. Learn more about me.
I’ve learned that most parents seek out my services when they don’t know how to help their young athlete anymore.
Parents who seek to hire a mental performance coach for young athletes often feel compelled to “fix” a problem that they cannot solve. This comes with stress and anxiety that can cloud the decision-making process.
Choosing the wrong mental performance coach for young athletes can lead to setbacks financially, emotionally, and from a performance perspective.
Here’s the short version:
Before you hire a mental performance coach for young athletes, make sure:
- Your child is actually motivated to participate.
- The chosen coach is accessible and willing to listen to everyone involved.
- You’re ready to let your child — not you — drive the process.
Here’s why each one matters.
Make Sure Your Child Is Motivated to Participate in the Process
I’ve learned that parents can be more motivated to work with me than their athlete. This is a problem.
We all need to give our kids a nudge sometimes.
However, the risk of giving your kid a nudge to engage with a mental performance coach for young athletes is probably greater than encouraging them to brush their teeth or study for their math test.
As I often share with parents in the discovery process, if all parties — athlete, parent, coach — are not on the same page, then they will likely be wasting a lot of time, money, and energy.
Hiring a mental performance coach for young athletes isn’t cheap — whether you hire me or someone else.
Mental performance coaching demands young people sacrifice their limited time.
Perhaps most importantly, hiring a mental performance coach for young athletes requires them to have an open mind and question their normal way of thinking.
If the young athlete isn’t bought into the process, then not only will you waste your money and everyone’s time and energy — you could also set them back, because they’ll be resentful of being forced into a relationship they don’t believe is helpful.
My suggestion to families would be: when in doubt, hold off on hiring a coach.
Find a Coach Who Is Accessible and Willing to Invest Time Listening
I often feel as though my work as a mental performance coach for young athletes is done in a vacuum. I might meet with a client once per week for 45 minutes or so, with limited access to clients outside of our sessions.
This being the case, I often have only the athlete’s perspective to rely on. They are my primary client, so their experiences and the information they give me is most valuable. However, there are many times where my athletes may have a blind spot that causes them to perceive their situation differently than how others see it.
I learned about a strategy called “triangulation” in my graduate sport psychology training. Triangulation is about considering information from multiple perspectives in order to best serve clients. The triangle typically consists of the athlete, the coach, and the parents.
I don’t always get a coach’s side of the story, for a variety of reasons that would make a lot of sense if I listed them out.
However, I have to listen closely to parents. It’s critical for a few reasons:
Parents deserve to be heard. They make endless sacrifices for their kids and do their best to give their children valuable resources. That builds up all sorts of emotions — being understood just helps.
Parents pay the bills. Their child is my primary responsibility, but parents are my clients too. Sessions with athletes are (mostly) confidential to build trust, but I need to communicate with parents openly and often to be a trusted partner.
Parents see things their children don’t. Young athletes almost invariably think their parents are wrong, but more often than not, parents are right about their kid — their kid just won’t listen to the feedback. That’s often the very reason a family seeks out a coach in the first place. Parents share critical observations that help me do my job well.
Finding a coach who communicates consistently and openly is extremely valuable. But…
Be Willing to Take Your Hands Off the Wheel and Let Your Child Drive
Tips 2 and 3 may seem contradictory.
They’re not.
My mission as a mental performance coach for young athletes is to help them be themselves when everyone is watching.
Learning how to be themselves when everyone is watching requires them to take risks, make mistakes, reflect, and make changes to get better without worrying what others think of them.
That is hard for everyone involved.
I understand the urge to give your children the answers to the proverbial test.
I’m a parent too. You might think: why do they have to fail and suffer when they can just take our advice and avoid it?
Because we’re not on the field with them.
Because we’re not at practice with them.
Because their coaches are giving them different advice.
Because one day, they’ll be forced to do it on their own.
One of the greatest compliments I’ve been given by young athletes is that I helped them look at something differently.
I’ve found that a young person’s ability to see things from a different perspective requires giving them the space to decide whether a piece of information is valid on their own. Put another way: they don’t want to be told how to think, or what to do.
I know it’s hard for parents. It might take intentional practice to let go of control.
But that’s exactly why you hire a mental performance coach who’s a good listener — so you have someone to talk to, while you let your kid drive their own bus.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I know if my child is ready for mental performance coaching? Readiness looks like curiosity, not compliance. If your child is asking questions about their own mindset or performance — rather than only nodding along because you signed them up — that’s a good sign they’re bought in. If the interest is entirely yours, it’s worth pausing first (see #1 above).
What does a mental performance coach for young athletes actually do? A mental performance coach works with athletes on the mental side of sport — things like confidence, focus, handling pressure, and recovering from mistakes — usually through regular one-on-one sessions, along with ongoing communication with parents and, when possible, coaches.
How much does a mental performance coach for young athletes cost, and how long does it take to see results? Costs and timelines vary by coach and by athlete, but it’s rarely a quick fix — meaningful change typically requires sustained sessions over weeks or months, plus real buy-in from the athlete. Reach out directly if you want specifics on working together.
How involved should parents be in mental performance coaching for young athletes? Not directly in most cases — sessions with the athlete are largely confidential to build trust — but parents remain an essential source of insight for the coach and should expect regular check-ins outside of the athlete’s sessions.
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