“I’m in my car because I can’t even be in my house. I live with my teammates.”
It was as if my client “Jessica” was hiding out in shame.
Jessica was ready to meet again after almost a year away from mental performance coaching.
Our very first session was on October 16, 2024 — almost one year ago to the day.
It felt like déjà vu.
Jessica, a Division I basketball player, was once again anxious about the fast-approaching season — her role, her playing time, her coaches’ expectations.
It was almost like we’d never left.
Now a junior, she’s still wrestling with the same questions she faced as a freshman. The transition from high school star to college reserve still stings.
Last October, she described her confidence as “up and down — like a roller coaster.”
This October, she’s still on that same ride, her confidence tied to what she can’t control:
Coaches.
Teammates.
Playing time
And, statistics.
For Jessica, that means being on the “gray” team — with the backups. The starters wear red.
Not being in red still drives her crazy.
Last season, we worked together for four sessions between mid-October and early November.
In that short window, she made huge strides by:
Accepting her situation.
Focusing on what she could control.
Judging success by effort, not outcome.
By November, she was in a better place. She didn’t dread basketball anymore — and her performance followed.
On October 14, 2025, I met with an anxious, unsure player again.
Eleven months later, we were right back where we started.
Why?
Because she stopped doing the mental work that got her there.
Jessica slipped back into old habits:
Worrying about others’ opinions.
Taking feedback as criticism.
Comparing herself to teammates.
After a breakout game last year — 13 points in just 20 minutes off the bench — Jessica decided she was “good.” She didn’t need to continue with our work together.
I was thrilled for her progress, but I had a feeling I’d see her again. I just wasn’t sure when.
Don’t misunderstand me.
I want every client to use the tools we develop together on their own.
But sometimes, they think they’re “fixed” — until they realize they’ve drifted back to old patterns.
Like Jessica.
What’s often missing is accountability — the voice that keeps them on track until new habits stick.
Almost one year ago to the day, Jessica was back.
Same preseason. Same fears.
I said to her:
“You’re at the same point in the year as we were a year ago — frustrated, overwhelmed, unsure where you stand.”
She nodded, defeated.
“Yeah, not really feeling optimistic right now.”
But I still saw progress.
She’s more open now, more willing to ask for help. She just stopped training the muscle.
Jessica doesn’t need an overhaul. She just needs to pick up where we left off — and commit to sticking with it.
We’ve talked about taking small, consistent actions for just five minutes a day:
- Journaling: setting daily intentions and focusing on controllable actions.
- Visualization: reviewing film from her best performances and learning from the tougher ones.
- Reframing: viewing challenges as learning opportunities, not personal attacks.
Her story isn’t about failure — it’s about what happens when we stop doing what works.
As I told her:
“Mental training is like lifting weights. You don’t stay strong because you did it once. You stay strong because you keep showing up.”
Jessica can’t get the last 11 months back.
Her job now is to:
Accept where she’s at.
Change her behavior.
And, rebuild one day at a time.
My job is to have her back for as long as she wants me around.