Sometimes, listening is enough to help young athletes overcome their mental challenges. As a mental performance coach, I’ve witnessed this many times, but my experience with a high school wrestler this past week crystallized it for me.
This young man did something no other athlete had done before—he reached out to me directly. Usually, it’s the parents who initiate contact about my services, but the fact that he took the initiative showed his motivation to improve.
We had our initial consultation last Sunday. We spoke for about 40 minutes—longer than a typical consultation. He shared his struggles with the pressure he was putting on himself and the resulting negative thoughts. I mostly listened, wanting to understand him better before determining if we were a good fit to work together.
When I did offer advice, it was simple: focus on controlling what you can and accept whatever happens. He told me the idea of acceptance stuck with him, and I was glad to hear it. Acceptance is a critical mental tool, but one that many young athletes struggle to embrace.
Three days later, I received a late-night text from him after his first match since our conversation. Here’s what it said:
When we met again, I learned that he was preparing for his Senior Night match—the last home wrestling match of his career. This was a big moment for him, and he wanted a successful outcome.
My approach remained simple. I encouraged him to double down on what had worked in his previous match rather than overcomplicating things. Additionally, I urged him to reframe the meaning of Senior Night. Instead of seeing it as a high-stakes test of his entire career, what if he viewed it as a celebration of all he had accomplished?
He had won over 100 matches in high school and worked relentlessly to earn this moment.
He embraced this mindset shift. After his Senior Night match, he sent me another text, sharing his excitement over his performance. Here’s what it said:
Was it my “genius” coaching that led to his success? Hardly. I hope you sense the sarcasm in that question.
I didn’t share anything groundbreaking in those two meetings. I simply listened, helped him shift his perspective, and pointed him in the right direction. He was the one who sought help, made the changes, and executed when it mattered.
This experience reinforced a fundamental truth in mental performance coaching: humility, open-mindedness, and a willingness to change are often the secret ingredients to success.
My role is to support athletes in their journey, but ultimately, they do the heavy lifting. Moving forward, my job will be to help him stay consistent in his mental approach—because consistency is where long-term success is built.