How Can Gratitude Help Us Get Through a Crisis? A Guide to Gratitude for Athletes and Parents
March 2020.
My nine-year-old daughter, Lucy, was getting ready for bed, and I was lying next to her, about six inches away. (Social distancing didn’t apply in our house.)
My body was there. My mind wasn’t.
What if my income dries up?
What if this lasts for months?
What happens to my kids?
I first wrote about that night just days into the COVID-19 pandemic. I’m coming back to it now because the lesson I learned lying in that bed is one I use every week as a mental performance coach.
A crisis looks different for a young athlete.
A torn ACL.
Getting cut.
A recruiting process that suddenly goes quiet.
But the tool that helped me that night is the same one I teach them. This post is about gratitude for athletes, and for the parents watching them struggle.
Why March 2020 Hit Me Harder Than 9/11 or 2008
I lived in New York City during and after 9/11. I lived through the late-2000s financial crisis, too. Both were scary. Neither weighed on me the way the start of the pandemic did.
After 9/11, I was single. The only person I had to support was me.
In 2008, I was newly married with our first child on the way.
By 2020, everything was different. I had just finished my master’s degree in sport psychology. My income was risk-based: commissions, nothing guaranteed. Our monthly expenses were higher. And I had two kids, 11 and 9, who needed a lot more from me than a baby on the way.
Uncertain income. Bigger bills. Two kids depending on me. That’s a recipe for debilitating anxiety.
The difference was that by 2020, I had better tools than I had in 2001 or 2008.
The Moment Gratitude Showed Up
Lying there next to Lucy, my mind kept drifting to everything that could go wrong and what it might mean for my kids.
Then something shifted. The worry gave way to a wave of gratitude. I was happy to be right there with her. In that moment, everything was fine.
I couldn’t control what came next. I could appreciate what I had right then. A healthy family. A home. A clear enough head to make hard decisions the next day if I needed to.
Nothing about my finances changed that night. My focus did.
So, what does a dad’s bedtime moment have to do with a 16-year-old sitting out with an injury? A lot.
What Gratitude Is, and What the Research Says
One researcher, Nelson (2009), defines gratitude as “a positive recognition of benefits received” (p. 38). In plain terms, gratitude means choosing to notice what’s going right, even when plenty is going wrong.
I’m not a fan of labeling things “good” and “bad,” because those labels are so subjective. But you know the difference between a week when the stock market climbs and a week when it drops. Gratitude is the habit of noticing the climbs, even in a down week.
Nelson’s review of the research links gratitude to greater well-being, fewer negative moods such as depression, better relationships, and better mental and physical functioning. It may even help people grow after hard experiences.
In a well-known set of studies, Emmons and McCullough (2003) asked people to write down things they were grateful for each week. Compared with people who listed hassles, they felt better about their lives overall and more optimistic about the week ahead.
And it applies to sport. In a study of 300 adolescent athletes, Chen, Kee, and Chen (2015) found that more grateful athletes were more satisfied with their lives, partly because they saw their teams as more connected and supportive.
What a Crisis Looks Like for a Young Athlete
Injury.
Getting cut.
Losing a starting spot.
A slump that won’t end.
A coach who stops answering.
In 2020, a whole season canceled.
For a teenager whose identity is wrapped up in their sport, any of these can feel like the world is ending. And their minds do exactly what mine did that night.
What if I never get back to where I was?
What if no one recruits me?
What if I let everyone down?
Gratitude doesn’t erase those questions. However, it can interrupt the spiral.
It brings a young athlete back to what’s important now: the rehab session today, the teammate who checked in, the fact that they still get to play the game they love.
Three Practices of Gratitude for Athletes
These are the same three practices I suggested in 2020, adjusted for young athletes. They take a few minutes a day.
One. Keep a daily gratitude list. Write down one, two, or three things you’re grateful for each day. Start small. You woke up healthy. You had a good rep at practice. A teammate picked you up after a bad inning. A training journal or the notes app on your phone works fine.
Two. Take a one-minute gratitude pause. Close your eyes and picture something you appreciate today, or repeat a short phrase to yourself. It works in bed at night, in the car before practice, or on the bench between innings. It’s a short reset that pulls your attention back to the present.
Three. Thank someone today. Text a teammate, a coach, or a parent and thank them for being part of your life. It takes 30 seconds. Based on the research above, it may also make your team feel a little more connected.
A note for parents: model it. Share your own list at dinner or on the car ride home. And don’t use gratitude to wave away your athlete’s pain. “At least you still have a season” can feel dismissive. Acknowledge how hard it is first. Gratitude works best alongside honest feelings, not in place of them.
Gratitude Won’t Fix Everything
I want to be honest about this. Gratitude won’t heal an injury faster or make a recruiting coach call back. When you open your eyes after a minute of gratitude, your troubles will most likely still be there.
What it can do, practiced consistently, is help you focus on the good in your life, feel a little better, and act with more confidence through a hard stretch. It did that for me in March 2020. I’ve watched it do the same for the young athletes I work with.
You’re human. Some nights the “what ifs” will win. That’s okay. Come back to it tomorrow. That’s what makes gratitude for athletes a mental skill and not a one-time fix.
If you’d like more tools like this one, join my newsletter. And if your athlete is going through a tough stretch right now, reach out. I’m happy to talk.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is gratitude for athletes?
It’s the practice of regularly noticing and appreciating what’s going right, in sport and in life. For athletes, that might mean appreciating a healthy body, a supportive coach, a teammate, or simply the chance to compete. It’s a mental skill that gets stronger with practice.
Can gratitude help an athlete get through an injury?
It won’t speed up physical healing, but it can help with the mental side. Gratitude can interrupt worry about the future, keep an injured athlete connected to teammates, and help them focus on the rehab work in front of them. If an injury leads to persistent sadness or anxiety, talk with a qualified professional.
How do I get my teenager to practice gratitude without it feeling forced?
Model it instead of assigning it. Share what you’re grateful for at dinner or in the car, keep it casual, and let them choose the method that fits them, whether that’s a list, a quick pause, or a text to a teammate.
How long does it take for gratitude to make a difference?
Some people feel calmer after a single gratitude pause. Research on gratitude journaling has tracked people over several weeks, so treat it like any other mental skill: small, consistent practice over time.
Does practicing gratitude mean ignoring negative feelings?
No. Frustration, sadness, and fear after a setback are normal. Gratitude for athletes works best alongside those feelings, helping a young athlete acknowledge what’s hard while still seeing what’s good.
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Michael Huber, MA, CMPC® holds a master’s degree in sport psychology. He helps young athletes ages 14 to 22 be themselves when everyone is watching, including learning how to navigate overthinking under pressure. Learn more about Michael