“Did (client’s name) bring up that his girlfriend left for college?” the father of one of my high school basketball clients asked me.
“No,” I said. “I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend.”
After nearly two years of working together, I didn’t know he had a girlfriend.
Part of me felt like I missed something.
I want to know my clients deeply — their personal lives matter because they don’t perform in a vacuum. Life outside the game inevitably impacts how they show up inside it.
But mostly, I felt proud.
I’ve had the privilege of watching this young man grow up.
And recently, he’s started to turn a corner in his basketball career — and in his life.
September 2023 – February 2024: Laying the Foundation
We started working together in September 2023, just before his freshman year on his school’s varsity basketball team.
His dad reached out after they attended an Ivy League basketball camp, where the school’s Director of Mental Performance left a lasting impression about the value of mental training.
They weren’t looking for a quick fix.
They were making a long-term investment in his development, with the hope of playing Division I college basketball.
In those early months, we focused on:
Preparing for the transition to varsity high school basketball
Building routines around controllables like effort and attitude
Understanding how to make an impact beyond scoring — through defense, ball movement, and being a great teammate
Our goal was to establish his value as a player and person within the team structure.
March – July 2024: Progress With Purpose
Spring and summer became a time for individual growth.
He navigated his AAU team decision, choosing the one best positioned to help him grow as a player.
His skill focus for the summer was becoming a better shooter and expanding his range.
We built offseason routines and habits that aligned with that goal, emphasizing self-discipline and progress over perfection.
August – November 2024: Advocating for Himself
Heading into his sophomore season, we shifted focus to:
Building stronger relationships with coaches and teammates.
Advocating for himself in conversations about role and playing time.
Managing the emotional ups and downs that come with adversity.
One key emphasis:Have a plan for when things go wrong. Practice your reset routine.
December 2024 – March 2025: Staying Grounded
His sophomore season was a roller coaster.
There was team drama. Inconsistent effort. Tough losses.
But he stayed grounded. He kept showing up with focus and consistency, regardless of what was happening around him.
One moment stands out:
Early in the season, he missed a potential game-winning shot in overtime. The other team rebounded and hit a buzzer-beater to win — a sequence that was not easy to swallow for him.
We processed that moment. I emphasized his willingness to take the shot, his hustle to recover, and what he could learn from it.
He didn’t let it define him. He took the lesson and moved forward.
He grew significantly.
April – May 2025: A Turning Point
Spring brought another new AAU team.
His goal for this summer: develop as an on-ball guard.
It wasn’t easy.
The offensive system was unfamiliar. He struggled to find rhythm and understand the “why” behind the team’s style of play. It started to affect his decision-making.
Instead of shutting down, he stepped up.
He asked if he should talk to the program director and his coach.
We prepped for the conversation — how to be constructive, how to ask thoughtful questions.
He followed through.
And that conversation became a turning point — a spark for what turned out to be a breakout summer.
June 2025: Recognition, Then Refocus
On June 15 — the first day college coaches could reach out — he got a message from an Ivy League school expressing interest.
He was beaming. I was proud.
It was a moment of validation. Not a finish line, but a powerful signal that his hard work was being noticed.
We talked about staying grounded, keeping the focus on what he can control:
Effort. Attitude. Preparation. Communication.
He understood.
July 2025: Stepping Forward With Purpose
His team closed out the summer by winning 20 straight games and multiple key tournaments. His confidence grew with each one.
Recently, I spoke with his father. We both agreed:
The next chapter is about leadership.
Becoming a more vocal presence.
To use his dad’s words — becoming “obnoxiously vocal.” (I don’t disagree.)
Elevating those around him.
Showing college coaches he’s the kind of player they want — not just for his skill, but for his character.
That’s my job now: to help him become that kind of leader.
Their family’s journey continues.
And I’m grateful to be part of it.