Demanding Coaching: 3 Powerful Ways to Give Young Athletes Structure
“Sometimes, athletes also just want a bit of structure.”
Two-time Olympic fencer Laurence Halsted said that to me on Episode 37 of The Freshman Foundation Podcast. It stopped me in my tracks.
I’d spent a lot of time writing about coaches who give young athletes freedom. Laurence reminded me of the other half of the equation. That’s where demanding coaching comes in, and why it’s not the same as being a controlling, domineering coach.
Why Young Athletes Need Structure, Not Just Freedom
Laurence spoke glowingly about his first fencing coach in England. That coach gave him a great deal of autonomy to explore the sport. The freedom made fencing fun, and the fun grew into a love that carried him to the Olympics.
But freedom alone isn’t enough.
Much of the coaching research compares autonomy-supportive behaviors with controlling ones, and autonomy support wins. Yet athletes given full autonomy without any structure may never get the conditions they need to build competence and connection with teammates.
Researchers call the better approach need-supportive coaching: a mix of autonomy support, structure, and relatedness support (Van Puyenbroeck, Stouten, & Vande Broek, 2018). In plain terms, effective coaches give athletes choices within clear boundaries.
Think about a young soccer player who dreams of the World Cup. Juggling a ball alone in the backyard won’t get them there. At some point, they need tactics. Teamwork. A system.
Coaching provides the framework to build competence. One study puts it well: “When coaches are highly structured, they support athletes’ skill development by creating a predictable, safe, and progress-oriented environment” (Reynders et al., 2020, p. 452).
I love that. I’ve watched plenty of youth practices with no structure, and you can see it on the kids’ faces. They think it’s a waste of time.
Demanding Coaching vs. Domineering Coaching
For a long time, I sorted coaches into two buckets. Autonomy support? Good. Controlling? Bad.
Like most things in life, coaching isn’t that black and white.
Researchers split controlling coaching into two very different approaches (Reynders et al., 2020).
Demanding coaching uses a variety of strategies to correct misbehavior and push athletes toward desired behaviors. It targets the behavior, not the person.
Domineering coaching exerts power through intimidation, guilt, anxiety, and personal attacks. It targets the person.
Both styles try to control what athletes do. The difference is intent and impact. Demanding coaching aims to shift behavior without making a young athlete feel bad about who they are.
The research backs this up. In a study of 317 team-sport athletes with an average age of about 17, coaches who paired need support with domineering behavior saw lower motivation and engagement from their athletes. Pairing need support with demanding coaching carried less of that cost.
When I Tried Demanding Coaching on the Sideline
Here’s a story from my own sideline.
I was helping coach my daughter’s soccer team. (I usually keep time and manage the girls on the bench.) Late in what felt like a good game, I heard a lot of grumbling about playing time and substitutions.
That bothered me. The head coaches had worked hard to share minutes across the group.
The final whistle blew on a 2-0 win. And the bench was full of unhappy faces.
It ticked me off. After the handshake line, I asked the girls to sit down and listen up. I told them, pretty sternly, that their complaints were unacceptable.
The coaches had done their best to get everyone on the field. Their energy would have been better spent cheering for their teammates.
Later, my daughter called me. She thought it was pretty funny that I “yelled” at the team. Why? Because I never yell.
That made me stop and think. The other coaches backed me up, but still. Was I being the coach I usually frown upon?
Looking at the research, my instincts may have been on point. I addressed the behavior, not the players. After my little speech, I made sure to tell them they played a great game, and I smiled at them.
I’m not sure every player appreciated the scolding. But I’ve shown them a lot of respect and trust as a coach, and that helps put one moment of disappointment in perspective. Like my daughter said, it was out of character, so it probably carried some weight. (I hope…)
For more on what happens when a coach’s emotions run hot, read Emotions in Coaching: 5 Powerful Lessons From Losing My Cool.
Demand What Athletes Can Control
So, what does this have to do with structure? A lot.
Structure can include demanding certain behaviors from young athletes. As a sport psychology professional, I believe demanding coaching works best when it focuses on what athletes can control: attitude and effort.
Demanding specific results is different. It can create anxiety and feel like a personal attack, which drifts into domineering territory.
Demanding controllable behavior, on the other hand, motivates athletes to do better going forward. Before researching this post, I never would have called any form of controlling behavior positive. Now I see how positive demanding coaching can be.
3 Ways to Use Demanding Coaching to Build Structure
So, what can youth sports coaches (and parents) do? Here are three ideas.
One. Set clear expectations. At the start of the season, make clear which behaviors are acceptable and which aren’t. That way, demanding a certain behavior in the moment never feels arbitrary.
Two. Give the rationale. Explain why a rule exists or why you’re correcting a behavior. Skip “because I’m the coach” or “because I said so.” Giving a reason builds the trust and respect a positive, two-way relationship needs, and it’s what separates demanding coaching from domineering.
Three. Have a plan. Unplanned practices (and I’ve been guilty of this) often lead to chaos or boredom. Tweens and teens go to practice to learn, get better, and have fun. A well-structured practice of the right length, long enough to hold their focus and no longer, keeps them motivated to work hard.
If this was helpful, please share it with a coach or parent who’d appreciate it.
References
Reynders, B., Van Puyenbroeck, S., Ceulemans, E., Vansteenkiste, M., & Vande Broek, G. (2020). How do profiles of need-supportive and controlling coaching relate to team athletes’ motivational outcomes? A person-centered approach. Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology, 42(6), 452–462. https://doi.org/10.1123/jsep.2019-0317
Van Puyenbroeck, S., Stouten, J., & Vande Broek, G. (2018). Coaching is teamwork! The role of need-supportive coaching and the motivational climate in stimulating proactivity in volleyball teams. Scandinavian Journal of Medicine & Science in Sports, 28(1), 319–328. https://doi.org/10.1111/sms.12895
Frequently Asked Questions
What is demanding coaching?
Demanding coaching is a style that uses clear expectations and correction to push athletes toward desired behaviors. It targets what an athlete does, not who they are.
What is the difference between demanding and domineering coaching?
Demanding coaching corrects behavior while respecting the athlete. Domineering coaching uses intimidation, guilt, and personal attacks to exert power over the athlete.
Is controlling coaching always bad?
Not always. Research suggests that when coaches are also need-supportive, demanding coaching costs athletes less motivation and engagement than domineering coaching does.
How can parents provide structure for young athletes?
Set clear expectations, explain the reasons behind your rules, and keep the focus on effort and attitude rather than results. Structure helps young athletes feel safe and see their progress.
Should coaches demand results from young athletes?
Focus demands on what athletes can control, like attitude and effort. Demanding results can raise anxiety and feel like a personal attack.
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Michael Huber, MA, CMPC® holds a master’s degree in sport psychology. He helps young athletes ages 14 to 22 be themselves when everyone is watching, including learning how to navigate overthinking under pressure. Learn more about Michael